Need to smile today? Try one of these:)
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, and I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns; it was a play on words.
They told me I had Type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
The Energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.