For me when I think about skeletons in the closet I think about being scared. I am not a Halloween girl, never have been. The thought of skeletons, scary things in the dark could scare me to death. In fact, in college I went to a haunted house and someone came at me with a fake needle with fake blood dripping from it and I passed out and they had to carry me out of the haunted house. That was the last time I went to a Haunted House.
I am the type of personality that goes through something hard, works through it the best I can, but never really go through the process of clearing things up, hope that everyone is alright and then tuck all of the skeletons (the pain and fear) in the closet. I want everyone to be happy, but really I don’t go through the closure - usually lots of “hanging chads” left outstanding.
"I am the type of personality that goes through something hard, works through it the best I can, but never really go through the process of clearing things up, hope that everyone is alright and then tuck all of the skeletons (the pain and fear) in the closet"
A few weeks ago I woke up with three names on my mind. These were three names that I haven’t thought about for quite awhile. I put in my calendar to message these people thinking if it was on the calendar I would do it. NOPE! I let the day pass by and I was busy getting other things done and decided that those “feelings” would go away. I forgot about those promptings until yesterday, Monday, May 14th. I woke up KNOWING that it was time to do something with those three names.
I tried to ignore those feelings, but honestly I couldn’t think about anything else. The problem was that I knew that it wasn’t really about just these three names - it was really about opening the closet and pulling the skeletons out of the closet and working through more than this. I finally did it. I finally acted on what I knew I needed to do. With two of the people the response back was what I needed - it gave me some closure and it felt good to say thank you for their help in a very difficult situation. For the third person I haven’t heard anything back yet, but in time.
Now that the closed closet door is open it seems like more is pouring out and it’s time to face more of the things I have tucked away for years
Now that the closed closet door is open it seems like more is pouring out and it’s time to face more of the things I have tucked away for years that I fear and have caused pain. Due to circumstances and an invitation I had the opportunity to face another fear. I was going to avoid it, but a dear friend of mine came and picked me up and we went together. Of course, I felt anxious, but after a few minutes it felt normal. No worries, no fear - it felt fine. This is something that I have had shut in the closet for over 11 years.
I have to say that with some of these things I have felt anger. I have felt that there are some things that are better left closed in the closet than feeling anger. There is one specific situation that has been coming to the surface more and more over the last few weeks and the overall feeling has been anger.
This morning as my friend and I were coming back to my home she shared with me an experience she and her family had over Spring Break. As she shared the bad situation, her feeling anxious and not being able to sleep at all and knowing that she couldn’t go forward with what she thought the plans should be I thought alot about this specific situation in my life. She then proceeded to share with me the spiritual experiences she had from this experience. She shared the blessings that came into her and her families life because of the bad circumstance. It was life changing. There were opportunities that would have never happened. She talked about how the Lord has the Master Plan. She talked about how the Lord guides things to happen for specific outcomes in our lives.
SERIOUSLY, the overwhelming feeling that came over me was so real. As she shared this experience I was reminded of the feelings I had when this awful situation happened for me with this person and that the outcome was exactly what it needed to be. The Lord had the Master Plan - the outcome was exactly what it was supposed to be despite how hard it was. I knew and felt such great peace at the end of the awful situation, but feelings were hurt, there was great pain, a great loss. It has been difficult for me to process so I tucked the pain and anger in a closet and moved on and now all of a sudden those skeletons are falling out of the closet.
My friend had no idea what I was going through, what I have been feeling, that I needed to hear her story today. She and I have talked many times about her sharing it with me, but today was the day.
It’s time. . .I know that sharing some very personal things is what I am supposed to be doing - believe it or not it is probably the most difficult thing for me - makes me vulnerable. I don’t know if it’s for my healing or to bless others lives - I really don’t know why, but I guess it’s time to act on those promptings that have been pushing me. . .
It’s time. . .I know that sharing some very personal things is what I am supposed to be doing - believe it or not it is probably the most difficult thing for me - makes me vulnerable.