This morning two of my boys had one of their brotherly exchanges of mean words. I am sure this doesn't happen in any other home :), but with the holiday break it had become a little more frequent between these two. I wasn't happy at all about it, because I felt that some of the words were a direct attack at their self esteem (and their weaknesses - we all have them). Rick and I ended up having a private conversation with our one son about this and the power of words. I found myself saying, "You are going to be known by people no matter what, it's your choice if its going to be for good or bad." This son is very well known by people and very loved. He is very confident and has a lot going for him. He is very service oriented, smiles a lot, willing to reach out to those that need a friend, etc. I have people tell me all of the time that he is loved and teachers appreciate him in their class. Right now he is known for good, but we talked about with each decision in our lives it can change the course of how people know us and how we feel about ourselves. I found myself thinking back to my elementary, junior high and high school years and I could think of a few people by name that were mean to me or my friends. They didn't throw a physical punch, but an emotional punch that has stuck with me. Thirty years later I still remember those people. I also remember the teachers, youth leaders, friends that made a positive impact on my life. I feel good about those people and am happy to see them years later. By no means am I saying that we base our acceptance or value on what people think about us, but each of us will known for good or bad by those around us and we have to make a choice. It is a daily, minute by minute choice on how we treat others, because it does make a difference in our lives. Let's be a force for good! Make a difference one word at a time, one kind act at a time - a smile, holding the door open for someone, a hug, a compliment, etc,
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What does the first day of a New Year mean? For many it means setting goals, reviewing the past year for changes they want for the coming year, figuring out how this year will be different with setting goals and not keeping them, etc. The bottom line for most people it means a hope for CHANGE in a better direction. I have never been one to make goals, vision posters, etc. I admire those that can do this and make it happen, but it's not what I have found works for me. I have always hoped for a better year, continue to improve my life by the end of the year, but a whole year goal is too big for me and I know that I will fall down, make mistakes and possibly drop the year long goal (like many within the first 2 weeks). That just sets me up for defeat, feeling of failure and a possibility at some point of deciding to wait until the next year to set new goals. For years I have found myself getting up each day with a renewed energy to make each day better. If I lost my temper with my children, I make a goal to apologize and strive to be more patient with my children. I come up with a plan with my children to work together to make things better. If I want to feel healthier, I think about each thing that I eat and make a conscious decision each time I eat. I make a decision if I am going to park a few more spots away from the store doors to get a few more steps in. If I am feeling down, I decide to reach outside of myself and serve someone else or maybe give myself permission to have a down day or maybe just an hour and then do something about it. If I am overwhelmed, behind on life, my list of things to do is way too long I make a list, delegate, take a look at what isn't important and evaluate each situation. If I need to improve on going to the temple, saying my prayers, reading my scriptures and the things that should be top priority in my life I put it in my calendar and get a reminder that I need to do it. It is scheduled into my day so I can make it a priority and remember to do it. My true goal for a new year is to take one day at a time. I know that by the end of the year my life isn't going to be perfect, but I will know that I took one day at a time and did my very best. My house isn't going to be spotless, I probably won't be to my ideal weight, my children will still have challenges, we will still have bills to pay, there will be things in the gospel that can bring me great happiness that I can do better and the list goes on, but I know that I will have made a CHANGE for the better and enjoyed each day along the way. |
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